Circumventive Love
by foreverwriting1918
Summary: What if Edward came back five years later to find Bella, a graduate from one of the best colleges in Washington, who was engaged to Jacob Black? Everything seemed to be going well until she sees Him... BxE BxJ
1. Chapter 1

Hey guys! This is my first story soo pleaseee be nice :)

I love these characters and decided to play with their lifes "muahaha"

I own nothing but my imagination and plot. Names are all by Stephanie Meyer.

What if Edward came back five years later to find Bella, a graduate from one of the best colleges in Washington, who was engaged to Jacob Black? Everything seemed to be going well until she sees him. BxE BxJ

**Chapter One**

I've been stuck in the same place for so long. After I left Brazil to see if she was doing what I left her to do, I couldn't stay away. Her backyard became my home, my shelter. Every afternoon I would climb one of the trees next to her window and admire her. I would drown in her beauty. She has gotten more shape these past years. Her body seemed fit, with curves, gentle and smooth. Her hair grew longer and healthier. She was slightly whiter than most people in Forks, but with a touch of pink in her cheeks. She also seemed more aware of things, more in control of her surroundings. She started drinking coffee and wearing a little makeup which was rare. She looked stunning!

I would do anything to just feel her skin on mine. Her warm lips twirl around my lips, to feel her hair blocking the world covering both our faces. I closed my eyes trying to brush away the thoughts. She was happy, so it seemed. She graduated college with honers.

She was also dating Jacob. I growled quietly at the thought. Out of thousands, millions of people in the world, she would choose Jacob. I smiled weakly. Of course she would. Jacob's Bellas best friend, the kid who loved her almost as much as I did...

Every night before she would go to bed, she would lean into her bedroom window and stare into the forest, directly at me as if she could see me there. Her eyes would water, a tear would fall, she would wipe it away to regain herself, and finally close the window. I knew what she was crying for. If I could just wipe those tears for her and kiss her goodnight.

After a few hours had gone by, I decided to go see her from up close. I never crossed her window again, but tonight I couldn't contain my desire anymore. I had to go for an closeup view. As I climbed down the tree I came upon Jacob for the first time. How did he know I was here?

"You." He growled at me. Why was he half naked? He didn't even look like the kid I use to hate.

And so I read his thoughts. He had become one of them, just like his ancestors.

"The legend has come again." I managed to say.

"I believe so. If you came here to see if she's OK, shes perfectly fine. You can leave." As he talked, I looked into his mind and into her smiles, her giggles, then through her pain. She has been through so much pain because of me. What have I done?

"She's gone through enough Edward, please, please leave us alone. Shes finally eating without everyone reminding her she has to eat to survive. We are getting married. This is what you wanted." He pleaded.

No. No, this is not what I wanted. I wanted to be with her forever. I wanted to grow old with her, to have kids, grand kids and to die together calmly after a long lived happy life with my Bella.

"Not with one of you..." I whispered, still mesmerized by her in his memories. He kissed her, he felt her underneath his skin and I could feel it too. I closed my eyes in anguish. Why did I leave her, I love her for gods sake! "I.. I just wanted to see her for the last time. I'm leaving tomorrow." I hoped he'd Understand.

"Are there others of your kind in the area?" Jacob asked.

"No. Just me. I promise not to bother anymore. I just need to see her Jacob. Please. I need to say MY goodbyes. I wont wake her."

Jacob thought for a while. _What if he steals her... what if she wakes up? What if he sucks the living __blood out of her?_

"I wont Jacob. I just want to be next to her." I answered his doubts.

"Ok. But tonight is the last time you'll ever step in Washington correct?" His face concerned and looking up at Bella's house.

"Yes." I lied.

"Good...Do Bella a favor Edward. Let her live. Let her be. And stay the hell out of our lives and my thoughts!"

He was right, just a touch, a glimpse of Bella's lips, that's all I wanted.

I nodded and he ran, ripping into full fur and gone deep in the forest.

**** What do you guys think? Please review and let me know. ***


	2. Chapter 2

**Chapter Two**

As I sat there, watching the love of my life, I started remembering how I would watch her when we first met. Accept now she was so different. Her breathing had become stronger. She didn't talk in her sleeps anymore. It was like she didn't even dream at all. She changed so much physically. Her curves were more profound but in such a delicate way. Her skin became softer, more fragile. She looked beautiful. I looked around her room and she changed it completely. The walls were a fade pale orange instead of the light green. He bed sheets had changed into a warm brown cover. It seemed warm and secure. It reminded me of wood..wolfs. Jacob.

A piece of her hair fell over her face as she slept. The temptation to take the silk of hair and put it behind her ears over took me. And so I did. Gently I stroked the piece of hair behind her ears, and as I did she took hold of my hands, firmly holding it in place and we both didn't move. I stood dead cold, praying she would let go, hoping she wouldn't. How could I be so selfish! After a few seconds of silence, she spoke. Her voice weak and hoarse.

"Edward."

Her voice brought me to a place where I haven't been in a long time. The feeling of her saying my name brought me to my knees. I held her hand in mine as she turned to look at me.

"You seem so real... It's like you're really here!"

I didn't know what to do. She thought I was a dream, a hallucination perhaps? She continued to speak.

"I haven't had one of these in a while." Her eyes started to tear. She has seen me before as a vision. My poor Bella. I was torturing her even with out me being near her...

"I'm here love. I'm real." I hoped she would believe me. I wanted her to believe me, I wanted to know her better, know her thoughts. I wanted to see what she turned out to be, if she was truly happy. This was wrong, but if I didn't have this moment with her, I couldn't go on a day living anymore.

"You're not real. You,..you were never real." She whispered the words as if in doubt. Maybe Jacob was right, maybe I should leave her alone, leave her to be. She sat up to quickly and put her soft hands on each side of my face. She looked deep in my eyes and took a deep breath.

"Edward... this isn't a dream is it?" Should I continue to talk to her? I couldn't lie to her anymore, I owned her that much.

"No." was all I could say. I'm so stupid! I shouldn't have touched her!

She stared deep in my eyes not letting my face go for one second! Her heart started beating in the oh so familiar pace, like as if it was going to jump off her chest. Her breathing became accelerated and so did mine. I closed my eyes not to look at her anymore. I've done too much damage to this girl, to my girl.

"Open your eyes Edward." She demanded. One look, that's all it took for her lips to reach mine, and as they touched, my world fell once more to her feet. All the hidden feeling inside my chest came back ten times stronger. Her lips were sweet and moist. We stayed for minutes, hours enjoying our mellifluous kiss. Then all to sudden she dropped her hands from my face and began to cry. No..no please. What have I done, why did I do this. I needed to leave! I got up and had a last look at her. If I could cry, I would be at this point.

"Are you going to leave me again?" She asked "Answer me Edward? Why did you come here? I thought... You don't love me Edward, why are you here?"


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3**

I have been all around the world. I have seen all places, I have felt all things, but in all my life, or whatever I'm still doing here, have I felt this. I felt pain, love, passion, defensive, guilt all at once. Her poor little beautiful face. How could I ever leave her here, unprotected and with all these unearthly creatures. "Are you leaving or not?" She asked me crying.

"Do you want me to leave?" I asked her. She looked pale all of the sudden. She stopped her sobbing and kept her eyes locked in mine the whole time.

"Edward... I don't know what to say. I've been waiting for you since the second you left."

So that meant she still loved me. But there was still a doubt in her voice.

"But?" I asked.

"But I have Jacob now. I'm not that little girl you use to know Edward. God knows how much I still love you. And I always will. Seeing you here...in person is so intense. I..." And she started sobbing again.

I went to sit next to her on her bed, and tried holding her hand. She snapped it away from me. It was like slapping my face. She has never refused my touch. It was I who always did.

"Don't." Her voice suddenly firm and strong. "Don't ever touch me again Edward. My heart will always be broken because of you. You killed me from the inside, can't you see?"

All I could do was stare at her in shock. I did see it. I saw her pain through Jacobs eyes. I saw her loose weight, gain weight, and then loose it all over again. I could hear her screams through her fathers thoughts too. He hated me...

"Bella, if you want me to stay I will. Just tell me what you want me to do. I know I will never gain back your trust. I just want to pay back what I have done. And if by leaving is what you want me to do, then I shall." I tried to explain my way of seeing this visit to her the best way possible. But she interrupted me.

"So, you think by breaking into my room at four in the morning, asking me if you should stay or leave, as if it's going to "pay back" what you've done to my life? Are you that cold?" She asked laughing coldly at the ironic question she just asked.

"I want you to stay Edward." She continued. "I want you to be mine again, I want to live forever with you. I want you and all of you. The problem is that it's too late for fantasies and wishes. I'm 23. I'm engaged to the best men I have ever met. Who never left me since I was a little girl. I have my dad who loves me too, who has never left me. I have friends who were always there for me. What about you Edward? I want you! But you're the only person who left me...to die." Her tears falling again. My poor Bella and her hormones. All I wanted to do was to hold her, to take her away from this hell she's been living.

"Bella, that's not true. I didn't leave you here to die silly. I left you here to live your life. A normal life. The one I will never be able to give you. I loved and still love you too much to take a heart beat from you. I want you to have babies, and to grow old and life-filled."

She stared at her hands as I spoke. "I want you to be like everyone else."

Then she looked up at me cold faced again.

"Then why the hell are you here? Are you that selfish? Because, as I can remember, we've been through this enough."

She was right.

"I'm here because I want to see you. And touch you. And feel your lips for the last time." I couldn't lie to her. She already knew me to well even with my unemotional face.

"Hmm..." She tilted her head to the side and bit her lips. "You are a selfish bastard." She spoke the words as if still in her thoughts, conforming a comment by someone else perhaps? She spoke again, her eyes not leaving mine. "So, if I kiss you, and let you touch me...for the last time... you will leave and come back five years later to do it again? Or maybe you won't because by then I'll be to old." How could she think these things. Answering her own questions. For the first time in all our so called relationship, I felt as if I could read her thoughts.

All too sudden I held her face between my hands and kissed her. She began to breath fast all to sudden and locked her arms around my neck. Our desperate kiss was impassioned and intense. I picked her up and laid her on the bed under me, her lips not leaving mine. We have never kissed like this before. We haven't kissed in a long time, but it was like we've been kissing all these years. Our lips knew exactly what to do. Her smell wasn't a temptation anymore. The only temptation was to remove everything that was in our way.

"Bella.." I broke our kiss breathing heavily. "Come with me. Come stay away from all of this for a few days, please. You can think about what you want in life later. Just please...please come away with me for a few days." I leaned my forehead to hers, brushing my nose on hers. She was burning hot. I wiped away her drop of sweat with my hand from her neck.

"Please..." I begged closing my eyes.

***Lovey lovey lovey! I love writing this story! I hope you guys are liking it so far. Sorry for any grammar misuse, for I am NOT a professional lol. Please REVIEW and let me know your thoughts. They are my inspiration :) Let me know what you guys think will happen too. This gives me an idea of what you guys feel and think :) LOVE YA'LL! Until soon ;)


	4. Chapter 4

**HELLO :D**

**I want to thank everyone who has been reading my little story. Wow, it's so nice having people reading and saying what they think about it. Yes, Edward is being a little selfish, but lets see what happens, it's for a explanatory cause! hehe Have fun!**

**Chapter 4**

She just laid there, quite and shocked. Her eyes looked into mine, and then to my lips. A tear fell from her eyes and finally she spoke with fear in her voice.

"Edward, I...I..I don't know. I can't just leave everything behind. I have Jacob. Oh..This is wrong...this is wrong!" She started pushing me off of her and spoke louder. "This is wrong Edward. Can't you see?" She raised her hands to her head, as in desperation.

Her father started to stir on his bed in the room next to us.

"Please keep your voice low, your father." I said trying to calm her down.

She took a deep breath before speaking, and gained her control again.

"Edward, you have no idea how badly I wanted you to kiss me like you just did. To hold me, to hold my world in place. But whose been holding my world is Jacob. He's all I have. I'm all he has."

Shes all he has? I went back to his thoughts from earlier. His thoughts about Bella and him. About all their kisses, and dates, and laughter. About all the family reunion. There was one thing though that kept me in doubt. Something that was worrying Jacob...Imprinting.

"Whats imprint... Imprinting?" I asked her. He loved her. But in his kind, there was a connection that not even I, through all my existence could explain. It felt like...what I feel for Bella. She looked at me with a questioning face.

"Has he, imprinted on you?" I asked

"What?"

"Jacob. Has he imprinted on you?"

She thought for a second. She stood from her bed and walked to face her desk, and I couldn't help but to go stand next to her. Looking into her hands, she spoke.

"I don't think so. He never told me if he has...or hasn't." She looked worried. Maybe he hasn't, maybe he never will.

"Bella, this is what we can do. You go talk to Jacob. I'm sorry for pushing you into thing situation...in the middle of the night." I held her hand, and this time she let me. Slowly I brushed it. "Its just that I've waited for this moment for such a long time. I'm so, so, so sorry for leaving you in the first place. It's been hell. I can't take it anymore love." I sighed, if she could be the one reading my mind she would understand.

"Please Bella, think about it." All I wanted was to take her from this planet, and go to some other galaxy. Just the both of us. My feelings for her were stronger than ever before. It was like a magnet pulling me to her. She looked at me confused.

"Does Jacob know you are here?"

"Yes."

We both stood there in silence for a few minutes. My hands tried slowly to move upwards but she pushed it back to her hands.

"Edward... Give me some time to think okay? This is really hard for me. You hurt me in such a way that it's not explainable. You broke my heart... and Jacob fixed it. But... you're the only one who can make the scars vanish... uhg! This is so hard." All I could feel at this moment was the hate I felt for myself. All I wanted to do was to make Bella happy and here I was, making her life once again miserable.

"I'm sorry." was all I could say, I felt horrible.

She held my hand tightly. Finally she looked into my eyes and gave me a gentle kiss on the cheek.

"Now, please leave. I will leave my window open whenever I have an answer."

My heart was in her hands. I felt like shredding into pieces, and she was holding me together. I knew she felt the same way, but I did hurt her. As I hurt myself stupidly for letting the love of my existence here in this hellhole. I brushed my finger above her lips, feeling her smooth tempting red skin. And with that I left.

**O.O What do you guys think will happen next? Lol Please review and let me know. **


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5**

**Point of view**: Jacob

_I love Bella. I love Bella. I love Bella. _I repeated the words everyday in my head. Every hour, every minute, every second. She needed me. She would have died if it wasn't for me. But my damn destiny...My damn curse just had to take over every tissue and instinct of my body. This was so unfair for my sweet Bella. She deserved a normal life. If not, then a life with the one she truly loved...with the one who truly loved her back. I've kept my secret for a year now. Not even the girl I imprinted on knew about this horrible yet distinguishably amazing feeling I felt for her. But I was determined to not mess up Bella's life more than she herself and that blood sucking son of a bitch had. Suddenly Bella was standing in the garage door, her face pale and dark circles ran under her eyes. _She woke up, _I thought to myself. She found the piece of meat there starring at her. I knew it.

I pushed myself out of underneath the car to have a better view at her.

"Hey pretty girl...Why so serious?" I tried to act like I didn't know anything just to see her reaction. Just to make sure she knew what had happened or not.

"Jake..."

She put both her hands on her face and fell to the floor next to me crying. I stood up sitting down and picked her up to sit on my lap. Poor Bella. My little angel cried like she did the first couple of years that bastard left her.

"I know...I know..." If only I knew what to say. A part of me wanted to stay with her forever... But another part of me wanted something else. Another life. And to be honest, I wanted Bella happy. And I knew that with me, she would never be fully happy.

With a sudden movement, Bella held my face in place with both her hands. She looked deep in my eyes and spoke softly.

"I love you."

"I love you too." My answer to her unquestioning statement surprised me.

"I know you love me. You always had. As I will always love you. But Jacob, do you love me, as in love my in every way possible. As in.. have you imprinted on me?"

Her question brought a sudden chill to my stomach. Did she know? Did the blood sucking freak tell her? I wasn't even thinking about it... Maybe one of the pack members.

"I need to know this baby, I need you to tell me the truth and you know why. Have you ever imprinted?"

This was it. She finally needed to know the truth for both our happiness.

"Yes."

She looked shocked. Fear took her expression.

"On...me?"

I felt like crying for some reason. I love her too. So much. But gravity pulled me towards another direction.

"No bella."

She just sat there, on my lap holding my face. She leaned her forehead to mine and a tear left her eye.

"I'm so sorry Jacob. I didn't mean to keep you from living your life."

"Hey, hey...Don't start with that B.S. I love you even more now. But in a different way. I guess it's like you love me. I could live a happy life in every way possible with you if I wanted to." I said blinking at her. She giggled.

"You are beautiful, smart and strong. I love you." I kissed her lips as it appeared to be the last time we were ever going to kiss. She wrapped her arms around me and kissed me back. We stayed like that for a few minutes and she started to tear again. She spoke kissing different little places on my face, my nose, me eyes, my cheeks... "Thank you for being my best friend... for always holding me together..and... for always taking care of me. What ever we had, and whatever we have now will always be here in my heart... I will always be in debt with you for saving my life."

She was always going to be in my heart too. It was like we were connected to each other after all.. I felt a deep need to protect her since we were little. And I always would. Then she backed away looking cheerful. I haven't seen her smile since...well, a long freaking time.

"So... are you going to tell me whose the lucky one?"

As I thought about Amber, I felt the butterflies in my stomach again. All these feeling towards this stranger was new to me.

"Her name is Amber. She's one of the girls in our tribe. She moved here about an year ago."

She was tall, dark skinned like me, and had big green eyes. She was beautiful.

"Yes... I've met her once at a barbeque. I thought you couldn't stand her." We both giggled.

"Bella, I can't stand many things in this life." I joked.. Well, tried.

She looked around, taking everything in and took a deep breath. She smiled weakly and turned to face me. Her eyes dark and sad again.

"He asked me to go away with him for a few days."

What? Already? What was his plans? Was he planning to change her?

"Don't worry Jacob..I told him I was going to think about."

I held my hands up and pleaded her not to take sudden actions. I wanted her safe. That would never change. I wanted her safe and healthy and alive. Just because all these years that those bastards were gone, doesn't mean the treaty was over. "Yes. Think about it. I know for a fact that he loves you Bella. But what he did was...wrong in a way. He tried to protect you. I can see how he must of have felt at the time."

I pushed a piece of her hair that was hanging in front of her eyes, and set it behind her years.

"Sometimes in life Bella, we have to make choices for the good of others..and sacrifice our happiness in order to see them happy. Except he was wrong. You were miserable... Dead almost."

She looked deep in my eyes, deep in thought. The she started crying and hugged me.

"Thank you Jake. I'm sorry for everything. Thank you." She said through her sobs. I took in the essence of her scent through her hair. I would never forget that fragrance...My Bella.

After dinner we said our good byes, and told her I would go to check on her the next morning. Before she left, she kissed my cheek and held a little cold metal in her hands. She looked down to our hands and handed our engagement ring back to me.

"I believe this belongs to someone else now."

***Well I'm glad Jacob is going to be happy. But what about Bella? Will she go back to Edward? Please reviewww :) ***


	6. Chapter 6

**Hey Guys! I am so sorry for taking forever to post the next chapter. Crazy things happened and I had to get my life back together, but all is well and back to normal. I wrote a little longer in this chapter. I hope everyone likes it :) I'm looking forward to getting better and better in writing so please please please leave me a review with comments opinions and critics. AU REVOIR ;)**

**Chapter 6**

Point of view: Bella

It was Thursday, and Charlie would go fishing until late with Billy and some friends from La Push. He invited me to go with them. He said it would be nice to think about nothing for a while, but I told him no. There was something, a feeling not letting me leave the house. He also found out about my brake up with Jacob. I tried to explain how Jake loved somebody else and it was OK, that it wasn't his fault, but Charlie not knowing anything about imprinting was really upset and mad at Jacob. He also stated how similar we were...even with our lovers. He gave a little laugh but stopped when he looked at me. "I'm sorry Bells... life's a bitch, I know." Probably guilt led him to say this but it was true...

When Charlie left I went to do laundry and cook half the dinner for tonight. That would only leave the fish Charlie would bring home to be cooked. After a few hours of work, there was a knock in the door.

_Did Charlie forget his house keys? _I thought to myself.

So I put on a happy face and went to answer it. I asked who it was and a beautiful high pitched voice responded.

"Its me!" This voice boiled up so many emotions in my body that I almost fell to the ground.

"Seriously Bella, if my presence is so overwhelming I can leave. Open the door silly!"

_Alice_. I regained myself as quickly as I could and pulled the door open and jumped at her. I held her neck as tight as I could knowing there wouldn't be human strength strong enough to even bruise her. Her smell brought me memories of my old life, the Cullens, Emmet, Carlisle...Edward.

"Alice..." was all I said breathing in her smell. Tears started to appear in my eyes, seeking freedom from these emotions. I loved her so much.

"Bella sweetie, you look horrible. What has this place done to you?" She asked walking into the house and looking around.

"Thanks Alice." She stared at me and took me in with her eyes and I took her into mine. She looked exactly the same. Nothing whatsoever changed in her. Her pixie black hair, her pale clear skin, her golden large eyes, and her attitude...

I suddenly felt jealous, not of Alice but her gift of being a vampire and not getting old.

"Actually, taking a really good look at you, you seem pretty fixable. We'll have to take a trip to Seattle this weekend."

"You're staying for the weekend?" I said, not believing her. A weekend with Alice was all I wanted, but then again she was one of them...What if she leaves? What if she was just comforting me for the moment? She was my best friend and after all these years, she was the only person who I could truly feel comfortable with. She took off her (what seemed really expansive) rain coat and collapsed in my sofa.

"Wow. If vampires could get tired I'd say I'm dead" She laughed out loud at her ironic joke. I followed her into the living room and set down on the other set of sofa.

"Bella. Relax. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not leaving you anymore. I've suffered enough not knowing what would happen to you. Strangest thing, I could never see you in my visions anymore, and when I could, Edward would stalk me. Edwards an idiot. A good person, but an idiot. I came here to put an end to this. By the way, your house smells disgusting... Did you rescue an old dog?" I, being the other idiot, just sat there looking at Alice, mesmerized by her being.

"Oh Bella? Humans. So distracted by our instinctive nature of possession, beauty, smell... You still wanna be part of this life right? Her words came out with a smirk on her face. "I mean, two days ago I had the same vision I had five years ago, and let me tell you, Rosalie will be jealous of your beauty. Edward doesn't believe me. He thinks its just me playing with him or my memory."

"OK, stop." What was this women talking about? Same vision? What vision? Yes I wanted to be part of Edwards family five years ago. Now I couldn't just leave everything. What about Charlie, my mother, my job? I knew that I still loved Edward. He was my everything. But he once left me and I had left this world mentally, spiritually, and physically. The only thing left alive was my flesh walking around, like a zombie. Finally Jacob came into the picture and pulled me back to reality.

"Alice. I would want to be a vampire in a heart beat. But now things got too complicated. I can't trust Edward anymore. I mean, I love him more than I love myself, but I also love my father. What about my mother? And my Job? After Edward left, I had to think about another life. One that didn't involve vampires and the desire of becoming one. Alice..." I went and knelt down next to her. I felt the tears submerging but I fought them back as hard as I could.

"I need to know what to do. I need your opinion without you thinking about whats best for Ed... your brother. I don't want you to think like a vampire OK? I need you to think like a human, like my best friend giving me advice."

I started breathing faster and felt the anxiety I hadn't felt for months. Things started to get blurry and the tears won.

"Bella, I promise I will help you. That's why I came here. Edward doesn't know I'm here. He only comes at night. During the day he hunts. I need you to calm down."

She helped me up and sat me next to her in the couch, cuddling me next to her. She let myself calm down and then she spoke.

"After all these centu...years of...lets say life... I have never seen such intense love between two...persons."

"Alice, you're not helping."

"Let me finish. Anyways... You two have a connection beyond natural. Edward tried to commit suicide three times. The first time he was in Italy. I had a vision of you jumping off a cliff, and I thought you died, but I had to go running to Italy and tell him I had seen you again and that you were well. The second time was when I saw you at the hospital in a coma, later to find out that you were just dehydrated from not eating or drinking. The third time was bad Bella. He said that if he couldn't have you in his existence, that he didn't want to live at all."

I took in her words. I wasn't the only one suffering. Edward was too.

"Alice, why didn't he just come back to me. That's what I don't understand."

Alice straightened herself in the couch trying to get a better view of my face, so I straightened myself up too.

"Bella, Edward loves you so much, he would sacrifice his...whatever you wanna call it, for you to live."

I couldn't speak. What Alice had said did make sense. But why now? Why 5 years later?

"Bella, he came here to tell you good bye. But it seems like after touching you and being so close to you again, he felt the need to have you, to try this one more time. Trust me, as YOUR sister, he loves you like never before. Neither of you will survive without each other...Not now..not ever."

Suicide. That word has had the chance of going through my mind many times these past years, but I always seemed to fail and just hurt myself real badly. I also had Jacob making sure I was tempting on trying anything stupid as he called it. He made sure I was far away from motorcycles, cliffs, pills and anything pointy really, but that stage of wanting to die faded away for me, and not for Edward. I would die one day, leaving all the pain and suffering behind, but he wouldn't. He would have to live forever with or without me, or my love. Alice sat there, quietly waiting for me to sink in her words and think about all that was going on. Poor Alice, she would get in trouble with Edward because of me.

"You should call Edward, tell him your here." I said after a while.

"Can I invite him to dinner with us tonight? We can go to Port Angeles?"

"And do what, watch me eat Alice?" She laughed and started to get up so I got up with her. She probably felt my anxiousness and spoke.

"Bella please relax. I'm not leaving. Let's go up to your room and choose a nice outfit. You said you wanted human time, right? So lets do this right. I kind of like this you know? I've been feeling like an animal after I got back from France and hunting two nights ago, you bring me back to humanity. Oh my god I bought this outfit in Paris..." Her voice started to fade away in my head as I thought about Edward and me having "dinner" together. It would be like meeting him all over again. He looked so beautifully young. I probably look like an old and ugly child molester.

"Bella? Jeez you gotta get over these distractions. Anyways, where are your dresses?"

Dresses, I didn't have any dresses. The last time I wore a dress was to prom, and then after the Cullen's left I threw it away.

"I don't have any dresses." I sat down on my bed with Alice looking at me from my closet. She was wearing a black legging and knee high leather boots tight around her leg. She had a beautiful beige silk blouse hugging her at the waist. Pretty as always.

"Hmm... any skirts?"

"Nope."

"You make my life hard to deal with...you know that right?"

"Yup." I said laying back in my bed.

"Bella! You need to let your inner girly escape from inside you once in a while."

"I don't have one Alice."

"OK. Lets go to the mall. You're getting ready there."

Before I knew it I was in Carlisle's Mercedes with the seat belt firmly locked around my chest and waist. This was going to be a long night.

****REVIEW PLZ :*


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